Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Really, Jayson? Really? Part Whatever ...

I thought I had Jayson out of my system. But I didn't have it out of my email. So when the lastest Flea post popped up, I couldn't help but click my way through to the absurdity. Oh, Jayson, you never disappoint.

Let's begin with this vintage metal cabinet. It is, of course, like so many Jayson offerings, French. This particular item is "mid 20th century," which, as we all know, is a very rare period in history. Hardly anything survives from the 1950s, let alone a metal cabinet that was no doubt uncovered in an archaelogical dig in what the French call a "garage." English translation: garage. Don't dawdle. At $3,295, this one won't last. And you will never find another one like it. Never.

Vintage Metal Cabinet – $3,295

Next up, this "vintage" milk glass vase. It is $30. Which is a bit odd, as the same exact item can be found in any antique store, garage sale, or Goodwill donation box for about a buck. But tack "vintage" on the front of the name of it and – ta da! – it'll cost you $29 more. The word "vintage," apparently, is magic. One day, I may try selling a "vintage" bag of lint. And I'll know just who to contact to be my purveyor.

Vintage Milk Glass Vase – $30

Are you feeling too current? Have you reverted to wearing qiana shirts and bell-bottom jeans because they were just so groovy? Is your belt buckle consipicuously large? Well, good. Then you're just the person to buy this mirror. It's just the thing to hang over your foil wallpaper.

Vintage Mod Mirror – $695

And speaking of the '70s, if you find yourself at a Tom Jones concert, you'll need a key to throw at him. Why not attach it to one of these nifty vintage hotel key fobs, yours for only $24? We're sure HWR doesn't stand for "highway robbery."

Vintage Hotel Key Chain – $24

And lastly, have you put off having children yet find yourself yearning for some poorly painted, schlumpy "art"? Do you have an excess of dust in your home and need something to collect it? Jayson's got you covered. These stone mushrooms have come all the way from England, desperate for someone to love them. Or like then. Or not be repulsed by them. Is that person you? Do you have $395 that you literally cannot think to spend on anything else? Well, then, today's your lucky day.

Vintage Stone Mushrooms – $395


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