Wednesday, July 17, 2013

It's Not The Heat, It's The Humidity. (No. Wait. It's The Heat, Too.) ...

Have I mentioned lately how much I do not like summer?

I like aspects of summer – summer fruit, ice cream, lemonade, fireflies, late light – but summer itself?

No.

When I step out of the shower and immediately start sweating? No.

When I wonder why I'm bothering to apply any makeup (not that I wear much to begin with) because it will only slide off my face in short order? No.

When I want to bake something but then think of the madness of turning on my oven on a 100-degree day, even if my house is air conditioned? No.

When I walk outside into the swampiness? No.

I went to a client's office yesterday and one of the staffers I sit near when I'm there asked if I had brought in treats.

I often bake for clients – it's yet another of my many professional selling points, people – but no, I told him. Not with the heat. Though I added: "But I'll be back in September. Your odds are better then."

Unfortunately, scientists have not realized my idea of divvying up the planet into quadrants by season so that I can live in fall for 10 months of the year.

I thought climate change might work in my favor this summer. The 4th of July was so lovely this year (after being so wretched last year) that it gave me hope that the rest of the summer would follow suit.

I could be OK with a summer full of 80-degree days, with low humidity and a nice breeze. That would be A-OK.

But this? No.

Thankfully, I read a piece yesterday that explained that it takes more energy to heat homes than to cool them, so at least I can feel less guilty when I turn on the a/c.

But I'm already looking forward to fall.

In the meantime, you can find me in my bedroom, with the shades three-quarters drawn.

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