Saturday, April 06, 2013

Really, Jayson? Really?: Special Pillow Edition ...

I love a good pillow. I do. I'm not that person with 20 of them piled on my bed, for two reasons: 1) I'd find it far too annoying to take them off each night and put them back each morning. They'd just live in a pile on my floor. And 2) Because I can't find that many pillows that I like. Which is just as well, because, well, see 1).

But I appreciate dec pillows for the bit of flair that they bring to to room. Yes, I know most men could give a rat's ass – unless the pillow is shaped like a football or comes in screaming team colors – but for those of us, both female and male, who appreciate a bit of polish, pillows are good.

Like I said, though, I can't find pillows that I like. Hell, I can't even find fabric that I like. I made one pillow for a chair and I'd make more if I could find the right fabrics. But I wander around fabric stores for what feels like 40 years and end up with nothing.

On the pillow continuum, then, I fall very much toward the one-off, arty side rather than the boring, 50%-off-at-Kohl's side, but I have my limits.

As you may have guessed, Jayson has pushed me to them.

I wasn't planning on doing a whole pillow post, but the further I delved into Jayson's pillow offerings, the more incredulous I became. And so here we are, me venting my overpriced-pillow spleen and you, no doubt, thinking, "Wow, Beth. I'd hate to see how upset you'd get about something important. Like warm beer."

Well, we all have our crosses to bear.

Ready then? Good.

This was the first pillow that caught my attention. Subtle, no? I gotta say, I'm pretty sure that no one who would be inclined to have a marijuana-motifed pillow in the house would be inclined to drop $295 on it. Think of all the Cheetos $295 would buy. (Yes, Jayson calls it "hemp." And it's made from hemp. But we all know that no one is going to walk into someone's home and say, "Hey, nice hemp pillow." Everyone is going to look around for the bong.)

Hemp Leaf Pillow – $295

In the event that your neighbors might cancel the kids' play dates if they see that you're sporting a pot pillow in your living room, perhaps you might prefer this bison number. Nothing pretties up a space like the head of a bison.

Bison Pillow – $350

What's that? You're in the market for something more expensive yet less practical? Well, you've come to the right place!

Bruna Bolster Pillow – $595

If you're wondering what makes this next pillow worth $450, I have two words for you: nubbly texture. That's right: nubbly. It's handwoven from "luxurious 100% natural llama wool." One-hundred percent natural, kids. Because synthetic llama wool is just tacky.

Beecher Pillow – $450

Now then: How many times has this happened to you? You're in a store, looking for decorative pillows, and you lament, "I just can't find a pillow that looks like the severed head of Phyllis Diller." Well, kids, Jayson's heard your cries. Now it can be yours. For less than $500.

Eve Feather Pillow – $475

And for those of you who might want something slightly more expensive and slightly more gaudy but still in the feather family, may I suggest ... ?

Gold Feather Pillow – $495

And lastly, pillows I would actually buy. If they weren't $495. Each. The site says "Starting at $495," but I don't see that one is more expensive than the other. Happily, black and brown are both the same overpriced price.

Greek Key Pillows – Starting at $495


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