Sunday, April 07, 2013

Really, Jayson? Really? Part VIII ...

Well, this has become a bit of a cottage industry, hasn't it?

I think I'll need to take a Jayson break after this, but I saw a few non-pillow items yesterday that are really worthy of attention, so if you'll indulge me one more time ... .

Now, I don't understand the phenomenon of hanging faux animal heads on walls. Articulated cardboard or papier-mâché or wicker. The material doesn't matter. They all strike me as odd. But odder still is why someone would spend $650 on something that – let's face it – is going to become tiresome in about 27 seconds. Jayson must have thought of that, because it also offers a small faux bull head to complement the large faux bull head. And that one is only $175.

Toro Bullhead - Large – $650

Toro Bullhead - Small – $175

The oddness subsided for a moment when I realized that someone could buy these and create a grouping on a wall, a la those stick-figure decals in the back windows of minivans that denote the members of a family. Of course, given that Jayson only offers bulls, this idea would really only work for a gay couple with sons. Allow me to illustrate my brilliant idea:

Next up, the Waris Side Table, which caught my eye for its odd base (as my mom would say, "Who wants to dust all that?") and its pricey price tag. Also, whenever I read the name of it, I keep thinking, "Doctor Who." But no, that's TARDIS. (Disclaimer: I am not a "Doctor Who" fan. I just have a working knowledge of pop culture.)

Waris Side Table – $1,495

This number caught my eye because of its name. Clem. Because who among us does not see the name Clem and think "brass-clad table"? For $695? Also, I'm amused that it's listed as a hexagonal cube. Jaysonfolk, you might want to look up the definition of "cube."

Clem Table – $695

And lastly, the Chest Tray. It's 4 1/2" x 6 1/2". It's $66. It features a decoupaged vintage image. I am unsure of its intended audience. Men who might be feeling a little less than ripped but who can be grateful that, unlike this guy, their nipples are centered? Or women who like a little vintage decoupaged beefcake to hold jewelry or soap? Because if the intention was the latter, I gotta tell you, Jayson, you'd probably move more of these $66 numbers if you used a current image of Ryan Reynolds. Or Ryan Gosling. (But not Ryan O'Neal.)

Chest Tray – $66


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