Saturday, July 16, 2011

Checking In ...

My friend Patti Digh is working on another book. Patti is always working on a book, it seems. She's a book-writing machine, that woman. With a husband and two daughters and an ever-expanding menagerie of pets. But she is a writer. And writers write. And so she does.

Her latest book-in-progress is titled The Geography of Loss and for it, she is asking the question, "For what or for whom do you grieve?"

I read that, and answered, reflexively, "Dave."

And then I realized that that was not true.

I realized that that part of me is healed. I think about him, still. I wish I could pick up the phone. But the grief is gone.

The sadness that trailed me like a shadow after his death has transformed into run-of-the-mill missing. I'll always miss him. I miss him every day. There is so much we would talk about if we could. But grief it's not.

And then I thought about other losses in my life, relatively recent and profound. And I realized that I no longer grieve those either.

There are things in my life I would like to change. Will change. And I know that future grief awaits.

But for the moment, this moment ... and this moment ... and this moment, I am OK.


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