'Cowboy del Amor' ...

My pal Bruce knows that I'm always up for a good documentary, so he passes along recommendations from time to time.

This morning, he sent a note telling me about "Cowboy del Amor," the story of a cupid in a cowboy hat who fixes up willing Mexican women with lonely American men.

Bruce wrote, in part:

"I found myself bewildered, amused, disgusted, and sympathetic, but I was never bored. An interesting -- and sometimes compelling -- tale of a strange business.

The film certainly raises a lot of questions: What makes a good marriage? Why are American men so lonely they will go to another country to look for companionship? Are American women too difficult to please? What happens to these people after the cameras have left?"

Yup, good questions, indeed.

So tonight, I called it up on Netflix and clicked Play.

And 20 minutes later, I turned it off. And wrote back to Bruce.

This is what I had to say:

"(Let me preface all of this with the statement that I have no qualms with the fact that you suggested this movie to me, so don't take what I'm about to say personally.)

OK, I watched 20 minutes of it before I had to turn it off.

You're right that it raises a lot of questions, but the fact that these men stay so narrowly focused on a woman's waist size disgusts me. The ad that went in the paper said any candidate couldn't be more than 130 pounds, then that was lowered to 120 pounds when the translator was on the phone. A woman who was 82 kilos was called "a woman and a half." If 60 kilos is 120, then 82 kilos is 164, which isn't very heavy.

And even if it was, the fact that he says he's a sincere person and just wants to find someone to love, but anyone who's more than 120 pounds is unworthy of even consideration?

I'm sick to death of the objectification of women. Men don't seem to want mates. They want trophies. I blame, in part, shows like 'According to Jim': somewhat oafish, not particularly attractive guy is married to beautiful, skinny, smart woman.

It's like all men think they deserve that, even if they don't bring many things to the table themselves.

Ugh."

I've written about this before. And I don't expect anything is going to change. With most men. Not all men.

But as I wrote in another post:

"... the man who wrote the article for the Telegraph, bless his well-intentioned heart, will never be able to understand the complexities of what women go through, because so much of what we go through is caused by men who don't grasp how much damage they're causing every time they cast aside a woman because she's not thin enough or not beautiful enough.

Those actions might seem insignificant from the men's perspectives, but they are not glancing blows for most women. Most women end up on the mat after taking one of those hits. Yes, we get up eventually, but the effect is cumulative. The damage lasts."

Rick, the one and only man I witnessed looking for love in tonight's doc (so long as that potential love was skinny), seemed like a pretty average guy. Somewhere in middle age, glasses, bald, average face, decent build. I don't doubt that he's an adequate human being. But my ears perked up when he told one woman on the phone that his marriage ended because his wife went through the change of life and wasn't the same person anymore.

Ivan, Mr. Cowboy, waved his arms and made slashing marks across his throat to get Rick to shut the hell up, and that was too bad. I'd have been interested to know just how Rick's ex wasn't the same: Had she gained weight? Had hormones affected her moods? Had she evolved as a person and realized she and the man to whom she was married wanted different things?

And speaking of things, when Rick tells his Mexican prospects that American women want too many things, what does he mean? Material things? Attention? Equality?

Methinks men and women have very different reactions to this film. If you've seen it or someday see it, let me know what you thought or think.