Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Recurring Dream ...

When I was younger, somewhere, say, around the age of 8, I used to have recurring dreams when I was sick.

Maybe I was younger than 8, even. The point is, I was young.

There were two dreams I'd have, but only when I had a fever. They were very brief, very stark, and very odd.

Last night, I was thinking about them, for whatever reason, and had a realization about one that sent a momentary shiver up my spine.

That dream always happened from my point of view. I was in a vast white room, so vast that I couldn't see the walls or the ceiling. And far off in the distance was a low white counter, for lack of a better word, about 16 inches high, that spanned the entire width of the room, which meant that I couldn't see either end of it. It appeared to go on forever.

And in my dream, I walked toward it, so my view was like a camera pushing in, and as I walked, people in form-fitting white, one-piece suits crossed my path, some walking in one direction, some walking in the other, but always timed so that we never walked into each other. I just moved through them, toward the counter.

The people, though, had no faces. Just flat whiteness where their faces would have been. Faceless, human forms. Beings, if you will.

Last night, I thought to myself, "Was that supposed to be heaven?" (As a child, I believed in the specific concept of heaven.)

And in the dream, once I moved past the beings, and drew nearer to the counter, a large, black tractor tire appeared on it, on its side, not standing up. Rimless, just the tire itself. The blackest black against the whiteness of the space around me.

And I'd arrive at the counter, and then I'd wake up. Or move on to the next dream. But that was always the end.

I have no idea what it means.

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