Monday, December 28, 2009

It's Good To Have A Goal ...

OK, I OFFICIALLY do not understand men.

I'd join a convent. If I were Catholic.

I'd date women. If I were gay.

I'd get a cat. If I liked cats.

Clearly, I need to go buy some high-collared blouses and long skirts. And a rocking chair. And make my face very pinched. And learn to crochet. And learn to like tea. And keep my house dark. And never go out.

Spinsterhood, here I come!

Update! I was just on the phone with my mom, detailing what accoutrement I'll need to complete my spinster transformation, and without missing a beat, she chimed in with, "You need a cameo." And then we both cracked up. Damn, that's perfect. Yes, that's exactly what I need. I need a cameo. She also informed me that I'll need hair nets to keep my hair in place while I sleep, because, of course, from here on, I will be wearing it in a bun. And she also suggested that I need dark-rimmed glasses.

I have much to learn.


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