Thursday, November 12, 2009

Farewell, My Thirties ...

And so today is the last day of my 30s. Tomorrow, I will turn 40.

Technically speaking, I will not wake up as a 40-year-old as I was born in the evening.

So if I was of a mind, I could cling to my 30s for more than a few hours tomorrow.

But I won't.

Tomorrow, I embark upon my 40s.

Today, as I was running errands – so many errands – I took note of the fact that I felt not powerful, per se, but capable. There were things to be done and I was doing them.

Not that that should feel remarkable.

But I've long had the notion of the woman I would be in my 40s and I wondered as I drove if I will wake up tomorrow feeling differently, if I will feel as though a switch has been flipped.

And then I realized that the switch will be flipped – or not – by me.

Which has always been the case, of course. I am the switch-flipper, no one else.

But in ways I can't explain, there's something about turning 40 that feels empowering in an entirely new way.

So the cliché "Life begins at 40" is a cliché for a reason, it appears.

I am not one of those women who insists on staying 39 forever.

Grateful as I am for every day, if I had to choose one year to live again and again, forever, this year would not be that year. I will be happy to ring in 2010.

I've been waking up at ridiculous hours, which in turn means that I am tired, very tired, in the early evening.

I may well fall asleep soon and wake up sometime after midnight, my 30s in life's rear-view mirror.

I look forward to all the day will bring. Tomorrow, and every day hence.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Alison said...

Most excellent. Happy Birthday, Beth.

1:40 AM  
Anonymous Celeste said...

Happy birthday!

1:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday!

Personally, I'm enjoying my 40s.

--Kathleen

2:25 PM  

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