Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Meaningful ...

Lately, I am too easily riled.

I get into word skirmishes that cannot be won, not because I do not have facts behind me, but because those with whom I tussle will not budge.

I do not believe that they believe that they are right. I believe that they know they are wrong, but no one wants to be on the wrong side of an argument when the right side is clear. But admitting to being wrong is for some intolerable. They would rather stand, resolutely, in their misguided ideology. Continue to insist the sky is puce. That does not make it so.

But tonight, the messages from the universe are coming at me fast and furious, and some things, for the moment, cease to matter.

That is not to say that I do not place great importance on politics and the news of the day. Never before has more been at stake.

But last week, when the daughter of a high-school friend passed away, I went for a walk and marveled at the fact that life looked exactly as it had the day before. For almost everyone, tomorrow will be a lot like today. But for my friend, that day was 180 degrees different from the day before. Her life was changed forever. And her husband's. And their families'. And, in a small way, mine.

Love is what matters. Those we love. Those we've lost. Last night, I dreamt of my high-school friend. In my dream, I was walking the 3-Day and she and her husband, even in their grief, had come out to cheer us on. I approached her, tears streaming down my face, tears streaming down hers, and she asked, "Do you remember me?" And we held each other tightly and cried.

I will see her on Saturday. She will not have to ask if I remember.

Another friend's mother is very ill. All that's left to offer are prayers and comfort. Soon, more lives will be different in marked ways.

I take too much for granted. I vow to change. And then I think that I do not change enough. But maybe every vow to change is change enough, an incremental shift, a small, small step that moves me along.

Still, I have not done enough. There is no such thing as enough. And so I vow to do more.

But for now, I offer what I have: my love to my family and friends and those I have yet to meet.


Blogger JMH said...

I don't know if it's a result of the singing or what, but you have a very good grasp of the universal, or perhaps more humbly, the human.

2:04 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

That's very kind, J. Thank you.

5:44 PM  

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