Friday, October 16, 2009

A Lesson In Loss ...

I have lost those I've loved too soon.

And all I can do is grieve for as long as grief holds me in its grasp. Over time, it loosens its grip, but I do not believe that it ever lets go.

My friend Charles died more than six years ago. There are still days when memories of him make me weep, and I wonder how there can still be tears, after all this time.

L.A. Dave passed away not even nine months ago yet I haven't shaken the desire to pick up the phone. Today is exactly the kind of day during which we would have whiled away an hour. He was my partner in procrastination.

The sadness lingers.

Theirs were lives lost too soon, but lives lived, some semblance of the range of life's rituals completed.

This morning, though, I read the latest CaringBridge entry about a high-school friend's daughter who is living her last days.

She is 4.

And my mind searches for a reason why.

I believe that the universe is a benevolent place.

And there is no doubt that this little girl has brought her parents great joy even as her loss will cause – has caused – great pain.

Perhaps the lesson for those of us who have not had the honor of knowing her is to be more tolerant, more patient, more loving, more kind.

In those simplest of terms, her life has great meaning.

But my heart breaks, yet again.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have lost a great number of people in my life, and while you never get used to it, you realize that with the passing of each, they've left your life so much richer, even for a brief time. I've always loved this "story" and take great comfort in the sentiment:

"I stand upon the seashore. A ship spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and heads out across the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength and I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud on the horizon just where the sea and sky meet to mingle with each other. At my side, someone says: "There! She's gone.

Gone where? Gone from my sight - that is all. She is just as large in mast and spar and hull as when she sailed close by, and just as able to bear her load of living freight to the place of destination. Her diminished size is in my vision alone.

At the moment when someone at my side says 'There! She's gone,'other eyes watch her coming, and other voices take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!"

4:26 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

That's lovely. Thank you.

4:33 PM  

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