Friday, July 24, 2009

Companion A La Carte ...

In my morning perusal of blogs, I ran across Random Esquire's list of what is sexy in women, a response to QT Mama's list of what is sexy in men.

Which inspired me to make my own list, a work in progress and in no particular order, a modification of QT Mama's list, because she made a really good list. Feel free to add others, in the comments. And note that I don't expect one man to embody everything listed below.

- Treating everyone politely

- Having confidence

- Lacking arrogance

- Walking on the side of traffic

- Opening doors, especially car doors

- Standing up when I leave or return to the table; SWOON

- Displaying intelligence

- Writing well; he doesn't have to be a descendant of Shakespeare, but spelling and grammar and punctuation count for a lot

- Wearing cologne; I shouldn't be able to smell him across the room, but up close – Mmm!

- Knowing when to make me laugh and knowing when to dial down the humor

- Having an accent

- Playing an instrument

- Living with honesty and integrity

- Having strong hands, wrists, and forearms

- Sporting a slightly scruffy face

- Knowing how to fix things

- Knowing what I like to drink

- Ordering for me (once he's asked me what I'd like)

- Appreciating food and wine

- Wanting to travel

- Cooking for me

- Giving flowers for no reason; men, seriously, most of you have yet to grasp just how many points you can score with an unexpected floral delivery

- Having an idea for a date

- Doting on me; I don't expect it, but a man who won't let me lift a finger to help with dinner, for example, earns extra credit

- Carrying things for me

- Reading more than Playboy and the sports section

- Appreciating culture

- Having a pleasant voice

- Maintaining good relationships with his family


Blogger Mercurie said...

I have to say your list would agree with mine except for a few gender differences, i.e. does not walk on side of traffic, likes having doors opened for her, letting me stand when she enters or leaves a room...I'm very old fashioned in some ways...

10:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

But how nice would it be if one man fit it all? Hmmm? ;) Thanks for the link!

11:18 AM  
Blogger Natalie810 said...

Seriously! Flowers are so EASY and rarely done.

12:48 PM  
Blogger Dave D said...


I would wager that actually you do yearn for a man exhibiting all those qualities. That's not a snipe - it's just a reflection that we all hope for 'perfection' (at least at the initial outset) and then dial down our expectations based on a set of thresholds that may or may not be etched in wet cement.

Although I certainly wasn't the modicum of GQ/Esquire-ness in high school when we first met, I did gain some excellent mentors in guy-oscity that helped me refine said desired traits and I'm honored to say that I do follow most of these things as standard operating procedures.

I'm equally dismayed that my gender and generation (on average) simply doesn't get or rather, simply chooses to neglect some of these fundamental things (case in point - flowers). I have personally taken time and effort to not only learn how to do key things (e.g. I cook very well, I play several instruments, I appreciate food, wine and liquor, I take charge of situations and 'dates'), etc.) but to learn how to do them well because that's what I have been taught to expect. There's a certain 'gentleman' quality that's severely lacking and whether it's a backlash to feminism or it's simply laziness, I don't know.

Perhaps I've had good role models and it's a product of my upbringing...hard to say. Or maybe I've simply aligned with icons that speak to me in movies and song (Bogart, Cary Grant, Gene Kelly, Sean Connery, Bryan Ferry, etc.) and I've used their presentations as my own examples. I'm not sure where the full answer lies.

If a male would like some suggestions in these areas, I have some excellent resources:

1.) Dressing like a Man -

This may be the best book ever written for guyness in one single tome.

2.) A sense of scents -

A former Chicago native now living in Seattle. Nasreen is, by far, one of the most interesting and talented human beings I've ever met. She can provide for you the exact scent based on an interview and smelling you...yes, smelling you. Although, obviously, the resulting selections are expensive, they are worth the investment hands-down.


11:50 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

Oh, you're quite right that I yearn for a man who embodies all the qualities I listed, Dave. I just don't expect to find that man. Self-fulfilling prophecy? Perhaps. Or maybe just realism.

Thanks for the excellent comment. Any man who tries to model himself after Cary Grant can only earn extra points in the eyes of women.

12:12 PM  

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