Sunday, March 22, 2009

'Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man' ...

"Mens."

Between me and a couple of my girlfriends, that one-word utterance represents our collective female frustration with members of the opposite sex. Men say they don't understand women. Well, guess what? We don't understand men.

John Gray, Ph.D., told us that "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" (whether we've found agreeable middle ground here on Earth continues to be up for debate) and Greg Behrendt told us "He's Just Not That Into You," but when Steve Harvey (yes, that Steve Harvey) popped up with a book that promised to tell we women, once and for all, what's going on in men's heads, well, how could I resist?


What I'd really love is for a handful of my male friends to read this book and tell me if Steve speaks the truth. It's not that I want to believe that he's lying. I suspect a lot of what's contained in these pages is true, but I'd also like to think that men – some men, at least – are slightly more evolved. And I'd like to think that those are the men who will appear on my dating radar.

But I don't expect my male friends to read this book. Whether or not they're pleased with Steve for showing us the male team's playbook, I can't envision men sitting down and reading a book about – gasp! – relationships.

So I thought I'd cull a few of the book's key points, chunked up by chapter headings, while being as objective as possible so as to not sway any forthcoming reactions, and spare folks the effort of reading the whole shebang, not that reading the whole shebang requires much of an investment of time (for those who might want to read the whole shebang anyway).

In return, I'd love for my male readers to pop into the Comments to offer their two cents based on what Steve has to say. Women, of course, are welcome to comment, too, but I'm pretty sure I know what they're going to say.

Let's get to it, shall we?

Our Love Isn't Like Your Love
"[A] man's love isn't like a woman's love. ... I'm not saying that we're not capable of loving. I'm just saying that our love is different—much more simple, direct, and probably a little harder to come by."

Steve says that men show their love through three Ps: Profess, Provide, and Protect.

Profess: "If your man loves you, he's willing to tell anybody and everybody, 'Look, man, this is my woman' or 'this is my girl,' 'my baby's mama,' or 'my lady.' In other words, you will have a title—an official one that far extends beyond 'this is my friend,' or 'this is (insert your name here).' That's because a man who has placed you in the most special part of his heart—the man who truly has feelings for you—will give you a title."

Provide: "Once we've claimed you, and you've returned the honor, we're going to start bringing home the bacon. Simply put, a man who loves you will bring that money home to make sure that you and the kids have what you all need. That is our role—our purpose. ... That is the very core of our manhood—to be the provider."

Protect: "When a man truly loves you, anybody who says, does, suggests, or even thinks about doing something offensive to you stands the risk of being obliterated. Your man will destroy anything and everything in his path to make sure that whoever disrespected you pays for it."

The Three Things Every Man Needs
"Women are complicated creatures. You need stuff. Lots of it. And you expect your man to provide it, even if you haven't explained what it is you need or want, or even if what you needed and wanted five minutes ago is wholly different from what you need and want now. ... Now men, by contrast, are very simple creatures. It really doesn't take much to make us happy. In fact, there are only three things that pretty much every man needs—support, love, and 'The Cookie.' Three things—that's it. And I'm here to tell you that yes, it's that simple."

Yes, "The Cookie" is exactly what you think it is.

Sport Fish Vs. Keepers
"A man fishes for two reasons: he's either sport fishing or fishing to eat, which means he's either going to try to catch the biggest fish he can, take a picture of it, admire it with his buddies and toss it back to sea, or he's going to take that fish on home, scale it, fillet it, toss it in some cornmeal, fry it up, and put it on his plate. This, I think, is a great analogy for how men seek out women."

"Newsflash," Steve writes, "it's not the guy who determines whether you're a sports fish or a keeper—it's you. (Don't hate the player, hate the game.) When a man approaches you, you're the one with total control over the situation. ... Every word you say, every move you make, every signal you give to a man will help him determine whether he should try to play you, be straight with you, or move on to the next woman to do a little more sport fishing."

Why Men Cheat
"From the male perspective, the answers to the question 'Why do men cheat?' are crystal clear. ... [W]omen will put up with a lot of things. Cheating is not one of them. Now, we men? We understand this. ... Still, we do it. Why? I am not here to justify a cheating man's actions. Rather, this is my humble attempt to explain to you why a man might go on ahead and get a little something on the side, and what you can do to cut down on the chances that your man will do this to you. So, let's just go on ahead and get right to it. Men cheat because ..."

They can.
"Dress it up any way you want to, but men don't view sex the way you women do, plain and simple. For a lot of you, the act of intercourse is emotional—an act of love. ... By contrast, when it comes to men and sex, neither emotions nor meaning necessarily enter the equation. It's easy—very easy—for a man to have sex, go home, wash it off with soap and water, and act like what he just did never happened.

"A man can love his wife, his children, his home, and his life that they've all built together, and have an incredible physical connection to her, and still get some from another woman without a second thought about it, because the actual act with the other woman meant nothing to him. It was something that may have made him feel good physically, but emotionally, his heart—the professing, providing, and protecting he saves for the woman he loves—may be at home with his woman.

"Now filter this bit of information through the lens of, say, a high-powered man who has a wife whose job is equally prestigious and demanding. ... [H]er job could take her overseas, leaving her man at home to run the household, take care of the kids, and keep up his demanding work schedule for weeks on end, without so much as a hot-and-heavy phone conversation to help him make it through the enormous time period he'd have to go without having sex. ... He's stressed out, and plenty of us men can hear what he may have worked out in his mind: I'm going to go over here and let this other woman tighten me up a bit, and then I'll come back and cook, shuttle and work until the woman I love comes back to me.

"This may seem like a cold piece of work to you, but to a man, it's reasonable. [Beth here, jumping in to ask men: If this is so, is it reasonable, in this scenario, for the wife to be sleeping with another man while she's overseas?] He's got to try to feel better some kind of way, and so he's going to get sex from someone if he can't get it from you. You see it as betrayal. Men see it as just a way to get tightened up, especially if ..."

They think they can get away with it.
"A man who cheats has most certainly calculated the collateral damage that would come from getting busted—potential loss of the woman he loves, his children, his home, his peace of mind—and he recognizes that this would be a devastating blow to all the things that matter in his life. ... Still, men don't really ever think they're going to get caught. Basically, we think we're slick and we go to great lengths to hide our infidelity from you, always with this in mind: if you don't know about it, it can't hurt you. We're pretty confident that your willingness to be in a relationship with us supersedes all the things we do that look suspicious, because we know you'll work through the suspicion—that it's more important to you to be with us in our imperfection than to leave us and be alone. At least, that's what we're hoping."

He hasn't become who he wants and needs to be or found who he truly is.
"You may think this is a cop-out, but it is the reality. ... [W]e are defined by who we are, what we do, and how much we make. And if we haven't gotten to where we want and need to be, then we're not going to be ready to figure out how settling down with one woman fits into our plans for becoming a truly independent, mature, well-off man. I mean, how many times have you seen or been in a relationship where the man says over and over again, 'When I get my money right, I'll think about commitment,' or 'I just need to get that promotion first, then I'll settle down.' That guy is still trying to complete himself, and while he's working toward that, he's not organizing his life to include a committed relationship. He tells himself he simply doesn't have time for it—it's simply not a priority for him."

What's happening at home isn't "happening" like it used to.
"That's right, I said it: it could have something to do with you. Your man may be telling himself that your relationship just doesn't have that spark anymore, that you don't turn him on like you used to—that you don't come on to him like you did when the two of you first fell in love. ... You've changed. (He knows he's changed, too, but we're not talking about him, we're talking about you.) Perhaps that comes, too, with a feeling that you don't appreciate him like you used to. ... And your home just isn't feeling like what he signed up for. And if he can't get what he signed up for back at the house, he's more likely to go out and find it somewhere else, because guess what?"

The Biggest Reason of All: There's always a woman out there willing to cheat with him.
"That's the truth no woman wants to face. ... Men can cheat because there are so many women willing to give themselves to a man who doesn't belong to them. ... Yes, these are women who have no standards and requirements and who suffer from serious self-esteem issues, making themselves willing to cheat and available to be cheated on." [Beth note: I love how men who cheat are just being men and getting what they "need," but women who cheat "suffer from serious self-esteem issues." Nice.]

Men Respect Standards—Get Some
"[W]e can't possibly begin to fathom what it is you women need and want because your needs and wants change from woman to woman like the wind does from city to city. Men are very simple, logical people; if you tell us what you like and what you don't like, we'll do anything to make sure we're living up to your expectations, particularly if we're interested in forging a relationship with you. ... But we're really not programmed to figure it out. It really makes us happy when you lay out your requirements for us. And we need you to do it up front, so we can decide if we're up for the challenge ..."

Strong, Independent—And Lonely—Women
"[M]en are very simple creatures who would be prone to doing some very simple things if not for the women in our lives. ... You're the driving force behind why we wake up every day. ... You're the ultimate prize to us. This may be a hard pill for you to swallow and some of you may be offended by what I'm about to say, but I say this in truth and abiding love for the opposite sex: somewhere along the line, women lost sight of this. Maybe in part because we men have played so many games, pulled so many tricks out of our hats—just plain done so much wrong in our quest to get women—that we've convinced you all that you are not important to us."

The point of this chapter is that men need to be needed. As representative of this, let me quote an example of what Steve says women should let men do. Male readers, yea or nay?:

"We get that you've got plenty of money to pay for dinner. But sit there and let him pick up the check. That what he's supposed to do when he's out with a woman on a date."


There's more to the book, of course. But I'm curious to know how men feel about what Steve has to say. Is he basically spot on? Full of crap? Has he oversimplified? Undersimplified? Revealed too much?

What say you?

33 Comments:

Anonymous Tod Brody said...

I knew exactly what Mr. Harvey was going to say without wasting my time reading his book. I did, however, read your synopsis, just to validate my suspicion.

And my response is that he's a very clever moron attempting to (and succeeding I'd guess) capitalize on the insatiable desire to discover the true difference between the sexes.

Whatever that difference may be, I don't take kindly to being lumped in with every other guy on the planet, particularly with regard to my interaction with women.

I'm nothing like the guy who's addicted to watching every sporting event that comes down the pike while my wife or girlfriend serves me and my buddies beer and wings. Nor am I a soccer hooligan who goes to the match, starts a brawl, and calls my babe from jail to come bail me out.

I don't spend weekends on the golf course making my wife a golf widdow, nor do I go out for a night or two out with the boys, and come home in a drunken stupor.

I don't spend every waking moment thinking about "the cookie" or the myriad of ways I can "get sum," or about all the other girls I might be able to cheat with and how I might successfully hide it.

I could go on and on and on. Harvey's take on the male - female relationship is overly simplistic and silly. And it rings of absurd racial stereotyping in what I can only assume is an attempt to take more of a slap at relationships in black America than any other America, which is sad.

Men and women are individuals. We don't all fit into cookie cutter molds so easily dissected by dime store shrinks, capitalizing on our fame, writing books for no other reason that to make a quick buck.

So there. And you don't even have to pay 19.99 for my two cents.

10:46 AM  
Blogger Mercurie said...

Well, I can agree with some of Harvey's words. I think he is right about the way men express love. We do to tend to profess, protect, and provide when we're really in love.

But then a lot of what he says I do disagree with. In fact, probably the thing I disagree with him on the most is why men cheat. I think it comes down to one of two things: 1. he really isn't in love with the woman he is currently with, or 2. he's a total cad. Most of the men I know I have never cheated on their girl friends and wives, so I think there is something seriously wrong with the man who does....

At any rate, I think for the most part Harvey's take on male/female relationships is like John Gray and Greg Behrendt's a bit over simplistic. Men are as varied and different as women, so I don't think we can very well be all judged together.

11:17 AM  
Blogger Rick Hamrick said...

Beth, I know you are smarter than this. In fact, the couple of places where you jumped into the excerpts from the Harvey book indicate your intelligence and your willingness to stand up to nonsense.

As Tod has already pointed out, attempting to deliver globally applicable statements about any group of people is silly at best, asinine at worst.

It is not at all the case that Harvey is completely wrong. In many ways, he may be right about many men. He has no clue about me, though.

My devotion to my wife is not embodied by protecting her, for example. Instead, I stand in support of her as she defends herself. She is fully capable of expressing herself when offended or wronged. Wholly different story if we were discussing actual danger such as walking to the car after dinner and finding questionable characters blocking our way. But that wasn't what was presented here.

My advice? Treat the Harvey book for what it is: entertainment for those seeking to pigeon-hole half of the population.

The best way to know men is not to read such books. By diving in and participating, you will discover the importance of your own side of the equation in determining how men respond.

Beth, I am willing to bet my next paycheck that you will continue to discover a world where men are nothing like Steve Harvey's description, even as they do occasionally match one or more of his cliches.

For you, I wish exactly the man you conjure!

11:51 AM  
Blogger J. Marquis said...

I would agree that a lot of what Harvey says is more relevant in black American culture. Or at least some kind of stereotyped vision of black American culture.

My wife and I protect each other. We provide for each other. We profess our love to each other.

There are still traces of gender roleplaying in our relationship but we recognize more often than not how silly it is. Usually it's just a ploy people use to get out of doing something they'd rather not have to.

The cheating issue is a hard one. I think keeping the lines of communication open is the best strategy. Assuming you know what your partner is thinking can be a very dangerous delusion...

1:10 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

It's interesting to me that you guys are reading Harvey's take on things and assessing it based on African-American culture because while I didn't point it out specifically, some of the book is written in the black vernacular, which made me wonder if he was writing this book for women in general or black women specifically.

1:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm a woman who has worked in a heavily male industry for 20 years ... and often was the only woman in my department. There's NO figuring men out. But part of the fun is that they think I'm a Martian, too, so it works out quite well. Some of the funniest discussions we have are when they come over and ask my opinion, "as a woman."

1:29 PM  
Blogger Mercurie said...

I have to laugh at Anon's comment. I work mostly with women. After five years and despite the fact that my Number Two Best Friend is a woman, I still haven't quite figured them out...

3:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe that's part of the fun ... that we're supposed to spend our lives TRYING to figure out each other. And maybe that's why it's special when a connection is finally made ...

9:24 PM  
Blogger Rick Hamrick said...

I don't recall who came up with this analogy, but it rings true for me: it is as if we are separate tribes living on opposite banks of a powerful river. In the morning, we build a bridge to connect the two separate groups, a task which is completed very late in the day and which results in only limited contact.

Over each night, the bridge is destroyed by the river.

The next morning, we begin again.

I'm just glad we are crazy enough to keep building the bridge each day.

9:59 PM  
Blogger David said...

If I wanted to play the therapist, I'd say that thinking that Harvey's book is specifically oriented to African-American people is an effort to keep the flaws it shows away from our own zone. As an outsider in this society (the American one), I have seen that there is not many actual differences in the behavior of both sexes, beyond those obvious: theories say that there is still an important biological component in male and female humans, which means that genetically men tends to copulate with the most possible partners, and women tends to nest and care more about commitment and certainty from the partner; I just wonder how strong are those tendencies, for as intelligent beings we can always choose. However, what I have seen "on the field" is that both men and women can be selfish, or "singleminded about more important things" as one girlfriend called it once, and that doesn't help at all in a relationship. Something that has surprised me is that being greedy and materialistic is becoming more a basic tool than a flaw (and, I regret to say, that's specially notorious in U.S.). So, what I see as differences between the sexes are small things like "girls are better communicating and dancing; guys are better reading maps and programming the DVD player", and that is that. As for me, I'm from this very moment trying to improve my communication and dancing skills, and want to take my next significant one in a nice map-compass trip, and watch a movie on DVD when coming back home.

2:21 PM  
Blogger J. Marquis said...

It was interesting, today at work my good friend (a black gay man named Keith) happened to ask me if I had heard about this book and we had a good discussion about it (or at least about the stuff you mentioned in your blog post).

7:25 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

Today's Oprah was a rerun of the Steve Harvey book-plugging show, so it seems to be on folks' minds again.

What was Keith's take on things, being a gay man?

7:28 PM  
Anonymous Cannon said...

Does this guy keep a P.O. box, or do the royalty-checks go right to his cave?

9:39 PM  
Blogger Jessica604 said...

Interesting article.

I have to say that there are a lot of truths here and I agree with a lot of the points - although the reasons given for cheating aren't the be all and end all for reasons.

6:35 PM  
Blogger J. Marquis said...

Keith was a bit more positive about the book than me. He didn't really have a gay perspective on it but he did feel some of Harvey's points (especially the protection stuff) had been misunderstood by the public. And apparently that issue came up when Harvey was on Oprah...

6:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Another relationship propaganda, I am a girl btw. I do agree with "Men respect standards" You need to let them know what you want and what you need in a relationship. The woman always have the upper hand not the other way around. If a woman knows her worth she knows what she deserves and the is "the best" and if the man she is dating is truly interested with her he will do his best to make her happy (in his own way). It's not about finding the perfect guy or girl it's about trying to be the best person you can be and improving your self so when the right person comes along you will not be all over the place pouring your 14 set of emotional baggage.

It's books like this that makes women judge a man before she actually gets to know them.

6:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I will say that I like what he says about the three Ps... BUT..

i do not agree with the way he frames men and cheating...

first of all to say that they will because they CAN... do you realize that you're driving jealous women into overdrive with this? this will cause some women to go overboard on keeping tabs etc. to make SURE that they CAN'T.

second... NOT ALL MEN ARE THIS WAY... and the more we keep people like this from spreading the message that they ARE... the more we can keep it from becoming TRUE. Propaganda is powerful and I'm fed up with the over-popular notion that all men will cheat if and when they can get away with it. I mean... it's just not fair to the actual GOOD men out there who like many an even severely horny woman (myself included) have vowed that they will never cheat even if there's not a chance of getting caught JUST because they think it's WRONG.

NOT ALL OF US ARE LIKE YOU STEVE HARVEY... KEEP YOUR MALFUNCTIONS TO YOURSELF.

4:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I believe men can't understand such books... so it is OK if they don't like it... ;-)

I read it and it is amazing... worth reading

12:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was just shaking my head at the gender roles he arbitrarily throws around -

women aren't jsut one thing, and neither are men. Both have complex emotions and approaches to situations. What he draws is a caricature - a crude representation - of both women and men.

It is disheartening to see it on the best-seller list. And it is disheartening to see that some people respond to this drivel positively. But it makes me really, really happy in reading the comments on this page, by many men who vocalised their disagreement with Harvey's words.

Times are a-changing... and men are no longer 'needed' by many women, but 'wanted'. :) Someone should tell harvey that, from this side of the river.

2:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi im just an Adian girl from oklahoma saying.. I think You have totally misinterpreted this part.
He's commenting that the woman who are
Willing to sleep with a married man or taken a taken man, those are the woman who have
Low self-esteem and i agree. Hea not talking about just a woman cheating on her man.... Read it over. I put !!! ..

That's the truth no woman wants to face. ... Men can cheat because there are so many women willing to give themselves to a man who doesn't belong to them. ... !!!!!Yes, these are women who have no standards and requirements and who suffer from serious self-esteem issues, making themselves willing to cheat and available to be cheated on."!!!!! [Beth note: I love how men who cheat are just being men and getting what they "need," but women who cheat "suffer from serious self-esteem issues." Nice.]

12:30 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

I'm fully aware of what he's saying.

This is also true: Women with self-esteem issues or not wouldn't have married men with whom to cheat if married men weren't willing to cheat on their wives. You're still excusing the man's behavior. At the end of the day, it takes two to have an affair, the woman who engages in a relationship with a man who is not hers, and the man who cheats on his wife.

A man could choose not to cheat, no matter how many willing women were nearby.

8:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Steve makes good points, is telling the truth about many things. Men cheat cause of those reasons. White, black all races, nobody excusing the man but you can't cheat if nobody is willing. Plenty women use sex to get what they want or to tempt a successful man. Plenty examples rich and famous poor and poverty. Take it to heart, the men saying I would never do this or that is lying. You don't know how you would respond if a situation happened. Your ultimate fantasy ready in front of you...either your depressed, just want to, think you want get caught. All men think of sex all day pretty blond pass by you look, nice pair of breasts low cut shirt you look. Point is if this female approached you inappropriately? Your a MAN don't lie to yourself or your spouse, we are not monsters just don't always make the right decision. Might mess up on 1 out of 1000's of instances. If happens not like he's lying. He's made mistakes and telling all, no relationship will be perfect or make it forever like we hope. Its hard work daily both sides.

10:48 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

And perhaps that blonde doesn't know the man is married. Men lie all the time.

I stand by my point that it's incumbent upon the man to not cheat. I don't care how often he thinks about sex.

Let's assume a woman is single and sleeping with a married man, which is often the case.

The woman is single. She's free to have relationships. She's not cheating on anyone. So why, then, is the responsibility supposed to lie with her to police the scenario and say "No"? Why is the responsibility not with the married man who will be cheating on his spouse?

I find it fascinating that so many people condemn the women in these scenarios for being willing, but excuse the men because, well, they're men and they think about sex all the time, so it's somehow OK?

That's absurd. We're all responsible for our own choices.

6:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think his book was great. I'm a woman and learned a lot. And what impacted me most was when he said men cheat bc they can, bc there are women who allow themselves to be with a man who doesn't belong to them. True statement and for some women...the truth hurts. I do see how it may pertain more to African Americans/Black America. I'm an Italian woman in a relationship with a Black man and a lot of what he said about the men he refers to is true for me/my relationship. Beth it is not written for Black women specifically, there are interracial relationships and also I think he has a very good read on men in general. Think outside the box.

11:04 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

I never said the book was only written for black women. My assertion is that it's ridiculous to blame single women for men cheating. Like I said, we're all responsible for our own choice. Men could choose to notcheat. To pin the blame on the other woman excuses men from their behavior.

6:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Its jus a book filled with nonsense to get u all debating then again its not about right or wrong its about ur own judgement.. Ur own opinion.. If u ask me I find the book to b entertaining.m

11:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

when I first heard of this book I immediately looked online to where I could purchase it..I mean the thought of being able to read a book that could possibly give some insight to the mind of a man sounds too good to be true..from the "preview" I was able to get from your blog im somewhat discouraged....it saddens me to say this but it looks like I may just give up on men entirely and try the other side of the river haha! Thanks for your insight Beth!!

2:23 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

Sure thing, Anon. Don't buy it. There are a zillion copies out there. Someone you know must have it and can let you borrow it. Or check your library. Or, hell, check thrift stores and pick up a copy for a buck.

I hear you on trying to play for the other team, but get this: My lesbian friends assure me that lesbian relationships are as hard if not harder than heterosexual relationships!

We're all doomed! :o )

2:32 PM  
Anonymous avox said...

i dint read the boo i saw the movie it was cute ...ppl are hngry for resective and if you have none iould say the book will give you somewere to start .. i trust my judgement...also that "Cookie" should go to a married man yourhusband if hes gonna protect provide and w/e else he deservesto have u at ur purest and not used ...no im not a virgin but i am celibate...and he is also worth it if he is gonna love you forever why not be the best for him ..so laddies keep it tight and make youself woth something so when he looks there is some thing to see and want ...^_^

3:29 AM  
Anonymous Candy said...

i don't get how he talks about getting sexual with a man after three months and going to church on sundays. If he was a real christian he would know that unmarrital sex is wrong, so if he's gonna talk about sexual relationships with your bf/fiancee' then don't be a hypocrite and say that God should be a priority in his life if he isn't living the way God wants him to live. modern day "christians" dissapoint me

10:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How's this man gonna talk about having sex with your girl and going to church on sundays lol what kind of christian is that

10:36 AM  
Blogger Sonja Mosley said...

Okay I have to admit some of you men are badgerring. Some of you do not actually understand what goes on in a womans head let alone know exactly how to treat a woman.

About making it a racial thing, i totally disagree. I know for a fact have been there and done that and you are no different than an african american male.

In some aspects i think that Steve has hit the nial head on and on the other hand he could have done a little more research. I agree with the cheating and I also have to say it goes the same way with women. Men feel they have the upper hand in the relationship at all times and for a woman to put her foot down will be most disrespectful to them. So again if a man is feeling lonely, has a sexd addiction or just messed up in the head he will cheat and feel nothing to it only becuase he knows that he either can hide it, his other wants the relationship badly enough that cheating is just likke a little ole arguement or the other just doesnt give a damn and says do whatever as long as I am taken care of. Im not agreeing with Steve because of who he is I am agreeing with him because its true and its reality. All you men say Oh i will never cheat, thats has not crossed my mind or she is all i want...You Lying. She has done made you mad or pissed you off to where you thought about cheating, you online chatted or you just went out and had sex with someone else. So feed the bull to someone else cause there is no man like it is no woman out there is perfect.

8:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What about this? I'm an ole chica, "56". So, a woman agrees to move in with a man and he buys her a ring to defend her honor and they live together for 20 yrs. He has cheated all the way up to this point. Now, she knows she is staying with him for the money, fame, glory, where else would I go?, who else would want me? The guy has someone there who "works" for him. She does the dishes, entertains his friends and family, cooks his meals, pairs his socks.

Truth be known, she is Manager of a personal care home.

And many married women still stay for the money, fame, glory etc.
They aren't exempt.

This is 2013. Women and men need to learn to be in a relationship where they are respected by their lover. What else could be more important?

12:07 PM  

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