Wednesday, December 24, 2008

That Holiday Feeling ...

I am awake early again. I don't know why.

But it's Christmas Eve and I've made a pot of coffee and put on my favorite instrumental Christmas CD and a moment ago I walked into the living room with my cup of joe and thought, "This is the last morning before Christmas that I'll be able to sit with the tree."

The last morning this year, I mean. I have every intention of being here next Christmas and for many Christmases to come.

But it set me to thinking about that feeling I feel leading up to holidays, my birthday and Christmas, especially. The day before my birthday feels entirely different than the day after my birthday. Likewise, Christmas Eve feels entirely different than December 26th.

Then again, life is full of moments we anticipate and moments that have passed.

Yesterday, College Boyfriend David was stuck in traffic – imagine that! – and found me on my cell phone. Cell phone-to-cell phone conversations can be spotty in the best of circumstances, but even more so, it seems, when the weather is bad. The weather in Cincinnati was rainy and the weather in my part of the world was snowy – again – so it wasn't the most crystal-clear connection, and yet when we said our goodbyes and I hung up, I was surprised that we had talked for 45 minutes. David and I never talk on the phone for 45 minutes these days. I don't think we talked on the phone for 45 minutes at a stretch when we were dating. And P.S., that was 20 years ago. David and I have known each other for more than half my life. Wild.

But my point – yes, I do have one; cut an insomniac some slack! – is that it was one of my favorite moments of the holidays this year. We didn't talk about anything in particular – his kids, my mom (he loves my mom; those of you who know her understand why), what TV we're watching these days (he's quite insistent that I watch "Battlestar Galactica"; he described it as "Shakespeare in space" for the quality of it, and I told him that I others whose opinions I really trust have raved about it, so I'll check it out) – but the same conversation wouldn't feel the same if we had it a few days from now.

It's kind of like birthday cards that show up in your mailbox the day after your birthday. Nice, but not the same as the birthday cards that show up in your mailbox on your birthday or before.

By all accounts, I'm an adult, but I still get excited about Christmas. I go to bed on Christmas Eve knowing full well that I'll have trouble sleeping and wake up early. The days of going to bed and waking up to a living room full of presents are long behind me, but there's still something about the energy of Christmas morning. It feels different than any other morning of the year. It's a very low-key affair now – no kids bounding around, tearing into packages, shrieking with delight – but it's still special.

I hope that everyone is experiencing that holiday feeling, looking forward to spending today and tomorrow with someone you love, and that the magic of the season brings you your hearts' desires.


Blogger Mercurie said...

Beth, I hope you are having a merry Christmas!

12:39 PM  

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