Monday, April 28, 2008

Say, Cheese! ...

Yesterday, I bought a bag of Baked Cheetos.

Today, I noticed this good news on the front of the bag:

Yes, that's right: Baked Cheetos now have added calcium! No longer do those orange-stained fingers just mean snack happiness, oh no. Now they're a sign that you're doing right by your bones, ladies!

In case you're wondering, a single 1-oz. serving of Baked Cheetos provides 10 percent of your recommended daily allowance of calcium. And since nobody eats just one ounce at a time, you'll be getting even more of the mineral.

See for yourself!

The bag I bought contains 11 ounces. (Well, it did when I bought it.)

But do the math! Each bag of Baked Cheetos contains 110 percent of our daily calcium requirement! Why suffer through milk (do you know what's in that stuff?) or yogurt (might as well call it fruit slime!) or calcium supplements (who wants to swallow boring white pellets the size of a baby's foot?) when we can be snarfing whole bags of crunchy orange corn-based nuggets? And the phosphorus and magnesium and Vitamin E and Vitamin B6 and riboflavin and thiamin and niacin and iron? Nutritional bonuses, all!

Zero cholesterol, zero trans fat!

And hey, protein!

2 Comments:

Blogger J. Marquis said...

Now if they can just make 'em so they don't leave that sticky orange dust on your fingers...

7:27 PM  
Blogger Jeff Hunter said...

And only 1430 calories for the whole day! I see a new diet idea...

10:56 AM  

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