Tuesday, October 30, 2007

My True Addiction ...

Sugar is my beard.

I have a much bigger addiction. Not many of you know of it. It's simply not discussed. I keep it in a drawer in my closet. It brings me an inordinate amount of pleasure.

I am addicted to curling ribbon.

I have 29 different colors, with back-ups of some, for a total of 32 economy-size spools, each 500 yards. Not that all the spools are full. But if they were, all the ribbon, put end to end, would span 48,000 feet, more than 9 miles, just over 72 city blocks.

Tonight, leaving Target, having bought Halloween gifts for my nephews and niece, I decided to go to Party City. One of the colors lacking in my curling-ribbon collection was pale yellow, and I had a present to wrap for Gretchen's baby shower/cocktail party on Saturday.

Party City is my pusher. So many colors of curling ribbon, often on sale. So I made my way across the street to score some, and as I pulled into the parking lot, I remembered that tonight is the night before Halloween.

Party City was mobbed. Apparently, I'm not the only procrastinator on the planet. I don't dress up for Halloween, but if I did, I'd like to think that I'd have my costume in hand more than 24 hours before I'd need it. Because, much like the selection of Mother's Day cards the night before, the selction isn't great for Halloween costumes on Halloween Eve.

Note to my mom: I always buy your cards well in advance of Mother's Day, but I've been in Walgreen's the nights before Mother's Days past and I've seen the sorry, guilt-ridden lot scavenging the sparse racks like mangy hyenas picking over a carcass after a lion's had its fill.

Note to self: What the hell was that?

As I was saying, I must be insane to venture into a party store the night before Halloween, but I needed my pale yellow curling ribbon fix. I scored a spool and noted several new colors. But I was strong. I bought only what I came for. Because I wanted to review my current inventory before snatching up new spools. As it is, my stash has already spilled over into a second drawer. I need to show a little restraint. Besides, if I wait for it to go on sale, I can buy more.

The thing of it is, I don't just like to own 29 colors of curling ribbon (a tally that will soon soar past the 30 mark!), I like to use it. A lot of it. People know me by my bows. My curling ribbon precedes me.

This is a gift I wrapped for Gemma and Dave's co-ed baby shower/cocktail party last year. Gemma instantly knew which gift was mine. Several women oohed over my bow. "How do you do that?!" they asked. I said we could all convene on another day for a curling-ribbon workshop. But we never did. The scale of this gift saves me, though. On a present of this size, my curling-ribbon addiction is less evident. But I use nearly that much on a small package, too. Imagine a CD with that kind of bow on it. It's more than a little absurd.

But it makes me happy. And a girl's gotta have a vice.


Blogger J. Marquis said...

You've gotta get help. Curling ribbon is just a gateway decoration to the really hard stuff.

6:37 AM  
Anonymous Doreen said...

re: what the HELL was that ... the night before a Mother's Day - Uncle Norman was once forced to buy a Mother's Day card for Aunt Sue, his wife that said "To My Mother" and he crossed it out ... still gets laughs when told :)

10:18 AM  
Anonymous Alison said...

Can I come over and admire your stash?

1:55 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

Ooh, I can do a curling-ribbon spectrum photo!

But yes, you can come over and admire my stash!

1:58 PM  

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