Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Notes On A Page ...

♪ Candidate conundrum: I've just taken my second online quiz to reveal the presidential candidate who most closely shares my views, and for the second time, my match is Dennis Kucinich. Pity he doesn't have a chance in hell of winning, but perhaps someone will select him as a running mate.

♪ I was watching World News with Charles Gibson, the key demo for which is even older than I am!, and I noted with amusement that immediately following a commercial for Plavix ("PLAVIX is indicated for patients with recent heart attack, recent stroke, or poor circulation in the legs") was a commercial for Applebee's new Ultimate Trios. A few of the heart-healthy choices: Dynamite Shrimp: "Plump, succulent shrimp coated in crispy panko bread crumbs and fried, then tossed in a creamy, spicy sauce" (fried then tossed in creamy sauce!); Mini Bacon Cheeseburgers; Tuscan Cheese Spread; Steak Quesadilla Towers; and Mozzarella Sticks, because nothing says "Code Blue!" like fried cheese. Mmm, mmm, mmmyocardial infarction!

♪ I'm trying to wrangle my CDs into some semblance of order. My nearly scientific count puts me right around 850. Assuming an average of 12 songs per disc, that's 10,200 songs. Which means my entire collection of 850 CDs could fit on just about 1/4 of the new 160 GB iPod. Which means a 160 GB iPod can hold, approximately, the equivalent of 3,400 CDs. I think I need a cigarette.

♪ I couldn't help but watch a few minutes of the new season of Beauty and the Geek tonight and was stupefied at the level of stupidity in some people. I'm embarrassed for my gender. "Do you know your IQ?" "Um, 3.4?" "Who wrote Beethoven's Fifth?" "Um ... ... ... Mozart!" "Where was the Gettysburg Address delivered?" [Crickets.] "Who was the first person to land on the moon?" "Neil Armstrong?" "Yes. What did he say?" "Um ... 'Yay, America!'?" And "Would you marry a rich older man?" "It depends on how long he'd live." (I was actually impressed by that answer.)

♪ And lastly, from my pal Jim, who moved to Arizona – voluntarily – some name fun:

1. MY GANGSTA NAME (first 3 letters of real name plus -izzle):
Betizzle

2. MY DETECTIVE NAME (favorite color and favorite animal):
Green Chicken

3. MY SOAP OPERA NAME (your middle name and the street you live on):
Ellen Main

5. MY STAR WARS NAME (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first):
Kujbe

6. MY SUPERHERO NAME (Your 2nd favorite color, and favorite drink):
Blue Vodka

7. MY IRAQI NAME (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your mom's maiden name, 3rd letter of you dad's middle name, 1st letter of a sibling's first name, and last letter of your mom's middle name):
Ejeumbn Oof!, that's tough!

8. MY WITNESS PROTECTION NAME (parents' middle names):
None James, so just James, I guess.

9. MY GOTH NAME (black, and the name of one of your pets):
Black Spanky

10. MY PORN STAR NAME (the name of your first pet and the first street you grew up on):
Spanky Bensley

Betizzle, over and out.

7 Comments:

Anonymous Ethan said...

The ONLY reason why I'm not a porn star:

My porn name would have been Tweetie Tennessee.

Too bad Rex, the 2nd parakeet, wasn't first. Rex Tennessee.

Jack Horner: Do these characters have a name?
Dirk: The guy's name is Brock Landers.
Reed Rothchild: And his partner is Chest Rockwell.
Jack Horner: Those are some great names.

9:54 PM  
Anonymous cannon said...

My witness protection name is Vincent Alice? So I won't be killed, but I will be wedgied and stuffed in my locker on a daily basis. Yay.

10:02 PM  
Blogger Jeff Hunter said...

conundrum - good word, I'll have to use that in a sentence sometime today.

I was watching a Suze Orman (Financial Advisor) show one day on CNBC where she was trashing people for leasing a new car instead of buying used because leases are so bad for people. What's the commercial break? Lease a Ford Whatever for $399 a month with $3999 down at signing. I know they've got no control of the order of commercials, but you'd think somebody would have a thinking cap on. Or maybe a joker....

FWIW: Black Spanky works better as your porn star name.

8:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Beth,
Yeah, It's me. I need your email address please. MP

10:49 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

Well, hey! It's in my profile if you ever need to find it again, but bethkujawski@earthlink.net. How fun!

10:52 AM  
Blogger Mercurie said...

I have to admit I have always had a problem with Beauty and the Geek. Namely, it's title is inaccurate. The guys on the show are nerds, not geeks (geeks have actually kissed someone on the lips before, and likely gone much farther...). Beyond that, I have to wonder about the intelligence of some of the girls...

I figure I can't have a porn name. I didn't live on a street until I was an adult (I grew up in the country...). LOL.

10:14 PM  
Blogger Marc said...

>average of 12 songs per disc, that's 10,200 songs. Which means my entire collection of 850 CDs could fit on just about 1/4 of the new 160 GB iPod.<
In a crappy format that is a fraction of the audio fidelity of the original CD.

And my porn name would be Ricky Chestnut! So there!

1:20 AM  

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