Monday, September 10, 2007

Ewe Betcha ...




















What the hell is it, you ask?

Why, it's a bench, of course.

Duh.

Actually, in this picture, there are two benches. They are $525 each. Yessirree, for $1,050 (plus tax and shipping, I'm sure), you too can have these creeptastic benches in your home.

The catalog copy:

Sturdy enough to support a 250lb person, this gentle ewe of the orvis aries variety is amazingly true to life. With her thick striated fur, velvet muzzle, and soulful eyes, she looks as though she just wandered in from the pasture. Steel reinforced, with a moveable head and ears, so no two in the herd need look exactly alike. Useful for seating, or to accept a casually flung coat, and always a conversation starter.

Yup, put one – or a herd – in your kid's bedroom and count how many hours it takes until your little darling awakens in the middle of the night, sees the soulful eyes staring blankly in the moonlight, and runs screaming into your bedroom.

And does any consumer of this product really care that this ewe is of the orvis aries variety? Is that the detail that's going to make people pony up more than half a G for a place to fling their coats? When did a sofa stop qualifying for that job? Or the floor, for that matter?

And call me crazy, but I wouldn't want to have to take a lint roller to my coat to remove traces of my furniture.

Conspicuous consumerism, anyone?

4 Comments:

Blogger Mercurie said...

I don't know. As benches go, they don't look too comfortable...

8:33 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

Yeah, I'm pretty sure most people don't look at a sheep and say, "Ah, that looks like a nice place to take a load off."

Weird, what some people will manufacture. What was the thought process behind these? "I'm bored with traditional benches. How can I make them different? Maybe I'll make them in the shape of an animal. And cover them in fake fur ..."

8:36 PM  
Anonymous Mikeachim said...

>>Yeah, I'm pretty sure most people don't look at a sheep and say, "Ah, that looks like a nice place to take a load off."

You've never been to Wales, then.

Oh.
Sorry, different meaning of 'take a load off'.

I'll go now.

3:17 PM  
Blogger OneEar said...

I'm with Mike on this one.
"thick striated fur, velvet muzzle, and soulful eyes.." I think I'm in love.

4:36 PM  

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