Monday, June 04, 2007

Cram It ...

You know what bugs me? Well, lots of things bug me. But you know what bugs me for the purposes of this post?

Eating contests.

I saw footage on the news this morning of this guy, Joey "Jaws" Chestnut, who crammed 59 1/2 hot dogs (and buns) down his gullet in 12 minutes. Doesn't he look like he's having a swell time?

His prize? A free trip to New York (to abuse his body again stuffing it full of more hot dogs at Coney Island), a year's supply of hot dogs (cuz I bet he'll have a hankering for 'em any day now, or maybe they're intended for practice), and a $250 gift card to the Arizona Mills Mall in Tempe, the site of this remarkable display of human stupidity.

Seriously, guys, what's up with this? (You don't tend to see women at these things. Women are too paranoid about eating as it is, let alone to cram themselves full of meat by-products and buns devoid of any nutrients, not that nutrition is the point.)

First of all, your stomach is just a little bit bigger than your fist. Yeah, it stretches, but for the love of God, 59 1/2 hot dogs and buns?! What this story doesn't say, what these stories never say, is whether the guy leaned over a garbage can moments later and puked it all up. I gotta think that he did, because his body had to have been saying, "Dude, what the fuck?" I'm going to presume this assumtion is correct.

Which brings me to the "second of all": There are people all over this planet who die, every day, of starvation, but in this country, our idea of entertainment is to stuff our bodies full of more food than they can contain and then vomit into a trash can? Or maybe a bucket. Whatever. It's not only disgusting, it's damn near unforgivable.

I happened to flip on the TV earlier and land on Maury. (What a bastion of admirable journalism that guy is, eh?) Today's show was, "My Baby Is Nearly 100 Pounds." Yup, toddlers who weigh nearly triple digits. Nice. One mother blamed her son for his obesity. Yeah, that's right. Because two-year-olds tend to swipe mom's keys and debit card and drive to the store to stock up on ice cream and Pop-Tarts. Thankfully, another mother had enough synapses firing to admit that it was her fault that her daughter was so heavy.

Childhood obesity is rampant. Adult obesity is rampant. And we're glorifying a guy who crams 59 1/2 hot dogs into his stomach. And the media that's reporting on Jaws up there is the same media that drills it into all of our heads that if we're not unnaturally thin, we're inferior human beings.

My head hurts.


Blogger Markbnj said...

Beth said: My head hurts.

And I say:
and THAT's why I gave up my television, cable, and TIVO subscriptions!

if I REALLY need it I can you-tube it!


9:43 PM  
Blogger Jeff Hunter said...

Dude can put away some meat, eh? I'm looking cross eyed at the second, let alone the 58th.

10:26 PM  
Blogger J. Marquis said...

The icing on the cake (so to speak) is when you see a hugely obese family come out of an all-you-can-eat restaurant and climb into their giant SUV. Americans consuming everything in sight just as fast as they can...

11:09 PM  
Anonymous Doreen said...

Not to mention those 59.5 hot dogs are 19,000 calories (thank you CNN). And there IS an Asian woman who has competed in these ridiculous contests and "won" many times (she is a tiny little thing... wondering if the packages of hot dogs & buns weigh more than her ... pre-consumption). There is a whole cult around these contests!!!!

9:36 AM  
Anonymous Ethan said...

IIRC Jon Stewart interviewed one of those hot dog eaters (or similar), and the interview-ee, in response to the grilling about starvation and waste wanted to know if he was going to go after NASCAR next. After all, it's not like it's the Daytona "go deliver this freight" race, or something reasonably constructive.

10:36 AM  

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