(Almost) Better Than (Eye) Candy ...

So this is what I get for eating dinner at 5 p.m. (Where am I? Boca?) At 10:30 p.m., I am bloody ravenous. But what do I want? With next to nothing in the house, my mind wanders. Happily, having put away half of Fast Food Nation in recent days, I have no yen for anything inside or outside of a bun. Think, Beth. Think.

Cereal. I want cereal. All righty, then. Off to the store.

I don’t spend a lot of time in the cereal aisle anymore. I did pick up a box of Chocolate Crunch Life (something like that) recently and boy, that was bowl after bowl of disappointment. So I wandered into the aisle tonight looking up, because that’s where the grown-up cereals are kept, because grown-ups are taller and less prone to grabbing things and throwing them into the basket. So I’m looking at cereals with lovely photography on the boxes and words like “Select” in the titles when a bright red box catches my eye on the shelf below.

The hell?, as Stacy would say. Fruity Cheerios?! They’re NEW!, says the box. Damn right they’re new! I didn’t notice them the last time I was there when I was naive enough to give Chocolate Crunch Life (something like that) a chance. Then again, Chocolate Crunch Life is on the opposite side of the aisle.

But, as I was saying, Fruity Cheerios! Like Froot Loops, for grown-ups! Right there, smack dab on the front of the box in a call-out:

✔ Flavored With REAL FRUIT JUICE
✔ 25% LESS SUGAR Than the Leading Fruity Cereal
✔ Excellent Source of WHOLE GRAIN

Woo hoo!

The back of the box is all about Fruity Cheerios FUN! Apparently, General Mills thinks that kids will be eating these, too. OK, fine. They can share.

I just had a bowlful with my organic skim milk. Delightful! Slightly less sweet than Froot Loops, but Froot Loops are really just decorative sugar pressed into Os, right?

I’m so pleased. A banner find on a banner day, which was made a banner day by Doreen, because she sent this to me from Vanity Fair:


HELLO! Nice lute, eh?

Seriously, I made it my computer wallpaper. Trudie is inspiration. Sting is eye candy. As Tracy said, "Man, he's hot!"

I’m sure Fruity Cheerios are part of their balanced diet. I mean, where else are they going to get 4% of their daily requirement of phosphorus? Right here, baby. Right here.