Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Playtime's A Gay Time ...

It's a bit of a long story, how I happened upon this toy site, and I won't bore you with the details. But I spent more time than I expected clicking through to see the toys in question. Many are made of wood or felt and hail from Germany. Those Germans. They know how to have fun. With wood. I have no idea what that means.

I found this item particularly amusing: Remember the opening credits in "Arthur," when he picks up the hooker and they're driving to the Plaza and he busts out laughing and she asks, "What's so funny?" and he says, "Sometimes I just think funny things!"? I was cracking myself up today over this item, wondering what would happen if you accidentally knocked the wooden toaster into a wooden sink filled with wood shavings. Yeah, I know, it was funnier in my head at the time. But the kicker is that if you're really into authenticity, you can buy wooden "butter" for your wooden "toast." The wooden "butter" is a chunk of wood. For $4.95. It's description on the site: "An adorable chunk of butter in a decorative tin. Butter measures 1 1/4" by 1 3/4". Tin is a little larger. Essential for proper toast according to our kids! Germany." I don't tend to think of even real butter as in any way "adorable."

Also on the site (like I said, I spent a lot of time there) was this knitted chef's salad. I'm guessing that's wool, which is an excellent source of fiber. Dee-licious. And hand-knit right here in the U.S. of A. But perhaps the most disturbing food-like items (from Nepal) I found on the site were the felted breakfast foods, particularly the bacon. Not because I'm eschewing animal products these days, but because I can't stop thinking that these "strips" of bacon look like freshly harvested kidneys. Not that I have a lot of first-hand knowledge of the appearance of harvested organs, but I have a pretty good imagination, and I was a pre-med major, so I've pored over a number of medical texts. Tell me I'm wrong. Good times.

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