Tuesday, February 14, 2006

More Than Words ...

Last night on "Sex and the City," Carrie had a fling.

Trouble was, the boy didn't know that's what it was.

"If I had known you were just using me," he said, angry on the front steps of the church before Charlotte's wedding, "I wouldn't have made love to you like that."

Nevermind that Carrie had already reported to Stanford that it was bad sex – jackrabbit sex. I blanched at the phrase "making love."

I'm always amazed when men use it. It seems more emotional-filled than most men can handle. But more than that, more and more, I wonder if men understand what it means to women. I'm not talking about married men, here. I'm talking about men in the earlier stages of dating.

There are plenty of ways to describe sex, some more crude than others. But "making love" connotes a connection beyond just sex. "Sex" can happen between any two anyones, anywhere. "Making love" is sex elevated to a higher emotional plane. It's not just a synonym.

Of course, I shouldn't be so biased. Women may use the phrase when they don't really mean it, either. Maybe they think it sounds more civilized, more refined.

But I also think that women are more sure of their feelings sooner than men, so if they use that phrase, odds are, that's what they truly feel: love.


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