Tuesday, February 21, 2006

I Don Need No Steenkin' Locksmith ...

Part of having too much space to call one's own, in my case, means having French doors leading out to my deck.

Sometimes, the lock gets testy. Sometimes, the lock doesn't want to lock.

Saturday was one of those sometimes.

I opened the door for a reason that escapes me now, and when I closed the door and tried to lock it, nothin' doin'.

So I did what any self-sufficient, 36-year-old woman would do: I wedged a chair underneath the handle and figured I'd do something about it Sunday. Maybe the lock would fix itself. I like problems that fix themselves.

Fast forward to tonight. Figuring I had tempted fate for long enough with my door-wedging approach, I got out my Phillips-head screwdriver and took apart the handle and lock assembly to see if I could see what the problem was. Might as well take a look-see before calling the locksmith, right?

Everything looked OK, but the part that was supposed to turn wouldn't budge.

Hmm. I needed a flat-head screwdriver. And pliers. Check, check.

I tried taking off other parts on other parts of the door. Nope. No help.

So I thought I'd check the Internet. Surely someone had had the same problem.

"Try WD-40," suggested one poster to a DIY forum. Right! WD-40 is the wonder carcinogen! (OK, I don't know if it's really a carcinogen, but it can't be good for you.) Spritz, spritz. Nothing. Spritz, spritz, spritz, spritz. Nothing. Crap.

I continued surfing. Found a post about someone with a similar door who ended up needing a bushing replacement from Peachtree. That must be what my problem was. Evil plastic bushing has broken, I thought, and I need the replacement metal bushing. The poster wrote that it was a tricky installation. Maybe I'd call the locksmith in for expertise.

But for tonight, I'd just wedge the chair again, tempt fate one more time.

So I put the lock back together and checked the three deadbolt protrusions. The bottom one seemed kinda stuck. Nudged it with my shoe. Then it seemed really stuck. Shut the door. Tried the lock.


I love problems that fix themselves.

But I'm not going to open the door until spring, just in case.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Only a woman would think WD-40 is a carcinogen. WD-40 is the elixir of the Gods. Oh wait, you don't believe in him. Duct tape?

3:07 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

I mean no disrespect to the followers of the Church of WD-40. Hey, I have a can of the stuff, right? And I use it when I need it, but I'm pretty sure you shouldn't sniff it too much.

And I have duct tape, too.

Hell, man, I have a Craftsman cordless drill! With TWO batteres, so one can always be charged. My father does his Christmas shopping at Sears and Menards.

3:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your FATHER does his shopping at Sears and Menards. My Parents were Episopalian. Doesn't mean s_it! WD-40 is like Robitussin a cure-all and fix-all. NEVER dis-respect it!

5:53 PM  

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