Wednesday, November 09, 2005

No Sweat ...

After this morning's brisk 2-mile walk (12-minute miles these days!), I
came home and made soup.

Well, no, I didn't make soup. I opened up a can and dumped it in a bowl
and put it in my microwave.

But that's not the point. I plopped down on the couch with my soup in
front of the TV and started flipping through the dearth of programming
choices available at 10 a.m.

I ran across an informercial for the Velform Sauna Belt.

Oh my.

The "claim" is that you strap this contraption around your gut, then
sit on your ass, and you'll sweat the pounds right off. No effort! Yet
another Holy Grail of weight loss! Praise be!

Of course, I called it up on the Web right away and found several sites
with reviews from people who were suckered in by the promise, all of
whom say the thing doesn't do anything but make their skin red and hot.
Well, duh. They also point out that this is a product from the UK, so
1) You need a converter to use it in the States, and 2) The 14-day
money-back guarantee is useless because of how long it takes to ship
the thing back and forth. So if you're dumb enough to plunk down the
cashola, you're stuck with a useless piece of crap.

I just shake my head. So many people are so willing to be sheep in our
image-obsessed culture. They want to be supermodel thin, they just
don't want to have to expend any effort. The most exercise they get is
picking up the phone to dial the 1-800 number on their screen to order
the latest miracle product that will change their lives, all for four
easy payments of $39.95.

My weight has been up and down my whole life. It's down again, though
it can be downer. It's an ongoing process.

People who see me infrequently comment: "You look great! What are you
doing?!"

And I tell them, "Eating right and exercising."

Their response, almost 100 percent of the time, is a disheartened, "Oh."

I wish I could tell everyone that I never get out of bed and subsist on
a diet of cheesecake and Cheetos. I think it's what they want to hear.

But no, bedridden Cheetos consumption is not the path to health.

Nor is the Velform Sauna Belt.

You have to eat real food and move. It's not the magic pill that
everyone's looking for. But it's the only thing that works.

3 Comments:

Blogger Marc said...

[quote]You have to eat real food and move. It's not the magic pill that everyone's looking for. But it's the only thing that works.[/quote]

The only thing? You forgot about the supermodel diet: cigarettes, cocaine, and purging.
Oh. You probably meant healthy.
Never mind.

4:53 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

I tried the cigarettes-and-cocaine diet, but I kept choking on the tobacco and the coke made my mouth numb.

: o )

Thanks for writing, Marc.

4:57 PM  
Blogger Mohammad said...

Binging and purging spam works for muslim women extremely well.

Allahu Akbar

8:18 PM  

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