Monday, October 31, 2005

I Don't Do Halloween ...

I've never participated in Halloween as an adult. I've been invited to Halloween parties, but I'm never inclined to dress up. Last night, Dave's band played a Halloween gig. I didn't go, but if I did, I was going to tell everyone I was a Disaffected Adult Who Doesn't Dress Up For Halloween.

Today at the post office, the "tellers" were all sporting kooky headband numbers with Halloween motifs. The woman who took care of me had a tiny black witch hat on her head with orange braids. When I walked up the the window, I said, "I like your costume."

"Thanks," she said.

"You look like the pagan Heidi."

She laughed and repeated it to her coworkers, who had taken to calling her Pippi Longstocking. Everyone agreed that Pagan Heidi was the winner.

"Thanks," I said. "I'm a writer." I didn't get my stamps for free, though.

Letters posted, I headed off to Sam's Club to buy candy for the trick-or-treaters. When I was younger, I remember how exciting it was when someone gave away full-size candy bars, so I decided that this year, that someone would be me.

Of course, the point of buying Halloween candy is to buy what you like, so in the event that there are leftovers, you don't get stuck with crap you'd never consider eating. So today's haul netted Snickers, Milky Ways, 3 Musketeers and Twix.

My oldest nephew is offically too cool to go trick-or-treating, and so his brother, who is three years younger but who wants to be cool, too, is skipping the ritual tonight. Only my niece will go out with her dad this year.

But they're all coming to my house, they assured me. They know they get good loot at the family stops. And I have to pat myself on the back for this year's treat (with props to mom for planting the idea): iTunes gift certificates. And boxes of Jelly Bellys, because you have to have candy, too.

I am the coolest aunt ever.

Just as I'm about to post this, I hear rain on the skylight above my head. Why does it rain just in time for trick-or-treat? I hope the kids come out anyway. I have 60 candy bars sitting by the front door, the front door through which I will not be able to pass if I'm left with 60 candy bars.

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