Sunday, October 23, 2005

Ah, Geez ...

So there I am, sitting at the counter in the kitchen, drinking my morning java, listening to Pat Metheny, dunking a couple oatmeal raisin cookies, and leafing through the latest Entertainment Weekly when I spy an ad.

"Yeah, they're celebrities ... But Can They Sing?" it asks me.

Reality television WILL. NOT. DIE. Haven't we been stabbing it with our steely knives for long enough?

"Nine famous faces. Only one will become a pop superstar. And you decide who that is."

OK, let's see: The nine famous faces - the "celebrities" in question (couldn't they get a spot on "The Surreal Life"?) - are, in top-to-bottom order from the ad: Carmine Gotti Agnello, Morgan Fairchild, Larry Holmes, Antonio Sabato Jr., Myrka Dellanos, Joe Pantoliano, Kim Alexis, Bai Ling, and Michael Copon, all of whom will be hosted by Man of the Hour Ahmet Zappa.

Joey The Pants? Vying to become a pop superstar? Is the world really waiting to see this? Kim Alexis? Where has she been for the past 20 years? Larry Holmes? Was he jealous of Evander Holyfield's turn on "Dancing With The Stars"? Ahmet Zappa?

Says VH1's site: "They can act, model and even box, but can they sing? That's the question VH1 will ask and answer this fall with the new series But Can They Sing when nine celebrities vie for the chance to prove to America whether they should stick to their day job or tough it out over six weeks to become a pop star."

Can they sing? Do we care?


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